being a woman.

it sucks.

there's actually a high chance that I suffer from endometriosis.

'Endometriosis (from endo, "inside", and metra, "womb") is a gynecological medical condition in women in which endometrial-like cells appear and flourish in areas outside the uterine cavity, most commonly on the ovaries. The uterine cavity is lined by endometrial cells, which are under the influence of female hormones. These endometrial-like cells in areas outside the uterus (endometriosis) are influenced by hormonal changes and respond similarly as do those cells found inside the uterus. Symptoms often worsen in time with the menstrual cycle.'

(thanks, Wikipedia!)

My mother suffers from it, my eldest sister suffers from it, my other two sisters don't have it.

Does this mean that I'm next? Probably. The symptoms are there.

Dear God, please don't let me be infertile.


so anyway, I was off school today because of the possible endometrial malfunctions. Laid in bed most of the day clutching a hot water bottle to my stomach, thinking 'fuck my life' over and over.

Who am I to be saying such a thing? There are people out there who have it much worse, fuck.
That's another thing that shits me. People bitching about how their lives are so hard, how nobody likes them...fuck, you've got food, a roof over your head, chances are you've got a family. just shut the fuck up.

steam.